Don’t Focus All Of Your Attention On What He’s Thinking. Focus On The Actions That You’ll Take Instead: It’s not uncommon for me to see wives in this situation become almost obsessed with their husband’s thought process at this time. They want to know exactly what he’s thinking, why he is thinking this way, and what, exactly it’s going to take to change his mind. I know this because, when I was in this same situation, this is exactly what I did.
It’s like dating – something I’m really, really bad at because I have women, men & couples coaching kink, love Judge Joe Brown and wake up late, three things I’ve found most women don’t like.
In these cases, I often tell the spouse who was cheated on to take a good look at if they’ve gotten all their needs met. Often, there’s something that’s bothering them which they haven’t addressed (in the hopes that their spouse would “just know” what they needed.) And then, when their spouse can’t read their mind, they think he doesn’t love or understand them enough.
No matter what society believes, adoption is a business. Potential adoptive parents are the consumers and so the agency will always look out for their best interests over yours, even if unintentionally or subconsciously. That is why outside unbiased counseling is a must. If the agency truly wants you to make an informed and voluntary decision, they should have no problem with getting you outside counseling. An agency that says no is an indication that the agency may try to brainwash you.
This wasn’t an easy situation for either spouse. The wife had already been damaged by a man who wasn’t trustworthy. So she was overly sensitive to any untruth. And the husband resented this. But I strongly felt that there was a compromise that was possible, which I’ll discuss now.
He just wants the sex. Unfortunately, some guys just view some women as conquests. If you feel that a guy is only in it for the sex, you probably are right.
As you can see, the answer is really simple. Discover the 3 causes of your relationship problems and focus on the 9 areas that will help you resolve the problems. The part that is not easy is doing the inner work to understand what is causing Your relationship problems and doing the outer work in those 9 areas that will transform your relationships.